we fight, we love, we laughed, we cried. not that its a bad thing, in fact, heartbreaking. worst is, we make-up to what we have produced and you immortalized, for the whole world to be immersed in. say i am theatrical if you may, i couldn't care, but, that instance, literally, grinned smugly, ripped my heart with its bare hands and stake a butcher knife through it,  repeatedly.

came to the livid point of me actually questioning,"what are you trying to say?", even with the conscious, active thoughts that these, are actually none of your fault. as i have agreed earlier, to the one i love, "good things are only in HIS name. bad things, never".

reality is, yes, it is unfortunate. yes, it is not meant to be. but, the intricate values of the arguments and the base of our happiness, revolves around the music made. and to see, literally, our lives being dropped like a ball within your songs due to a decision, is life-breaking. i repeat, life-breaking.

in simpler English, i am not angry or mad that the band didn't make it through. i am contented. just on a personal note, it is more than a band to me. the songs that sings me and the boyfriend's, joys and miseries. the disappointments in the hearts of new friends that i have made in the band. the hard work that the band members put in to actually make the melodies pull through. everything flashes back.

despite all, life goes on. that instance, actually is a curse blessing in so many ways that i didn't see until now.

i love you, razil.

to fighting this and the better days ahead.


insyaallah. 

Labels: a, band, heartbreak, just, more, than