i think i'm obsessed with writing. a month of hiatus has got me on being cold turkey. you wouldn't want to know how many scraps of paper i wrote on, scrunch and threw on my desk. when i finally did get to write something nice (something really disturbingly true and scary all at the same time), i felt well. not shivering in anger or have this ridiculous bile up my throat.

gosh, i sound like i hate facing the world. and i love it when Adam Levine wrote this on his twitter, "deep breath. Kill em with kindness...at the end of the day their misery is their problem!". bahahahaha. smart enough, bugger.

i just realized something. THIS..is another pile of challenge in life only to prepare you for your afterlife. it doesn't support you with happiness, security or an accolade. in fact, its one of the biggest one. and its definitely not, something that makes you improve on Earth, to make you a better person. its happy but vague. all you'll be left with is a sound of shatters, nothingness and lost.

things that i will tell my daughter when she starts to date:

1) if you pursue a date, on the first one, joke that, if you guys ever got married, you guys are going to get divorced, because you're not going to give him a good fuck, either ways. that shall scare the hell out of him.

2) do not have sex on a first date no matter how your raging hormones and aching vagina, tells you to do so because, it will make things complicated, if you even last more than a year.

3) always, always treat yourself as one of the boys, but still be the most prettiest, sport-oriented and witty one. do not turn into a boy.

4) if a boy falls in love with you, quickly walk away.

5) when everything else fails, there's always lesbians.

i have been caught with work recently with a little leisure time to myself. what more that workplace has taken my visual merchandising training to a more serious note. so, you can practically imagine the state of my mind right now. deteriorated. the capacity in handling bullshit is not more than a full-stop.

my short story is still left hanging. i need love and anger inspirations to keep me going.

well, maybe, another 4 bottles of red wine, again?

love, red wine. oooooooouuuuh. keeps me thinking.

till then, i want to climb the stairs of success in the meantime for my job to start my career. spot the difference?

with determination, tears, sweat, more profanities, frustrations, more love and support, i shall be.