i will only find peace if i start by sharing these, for the now i-dont-know-how-many times. my friends? shut up, will you? dearest boyfriend, i found a website of debbie wong with her in a bikini. you can see, but just don't get back at me, ok? i love you, only. =P.


oh my god..........*sweats profusely and stutters*. and, he is 22! this,choi siwon...is 22!!!! aiyyyaaak! *melts*. this is not the usual me, but nevermind if he is a saggitarius. ahhhhh!*flips left arm in the air without a care*.

total madness! believe me or not, as always its these kind of things that makes me stoked to start a new day, everyday. even though, by the end, i'll be frowning. if it starts fine, i don't bother how it ends. all shall be fine.

pheew.

now.

i spent my Sunday off by pretending like i am on a very long vacation (very bad, i know). clubbing. great company. great food. minus the alcohol, nyah. all is done by being just at home. well, yes, my sunday, means, mum and dad going grocery shopping while we, the children, are left at home, allowing ourselves to: my youngest brother; izul; pet society on FB. my second younger brother, wawan; an online game that is similar to counter strike. and the eldest, me; helped myself shamelessly to more choi siwon and dance tracks, turned it up to the loudest volume and dancing literally, around the house with only a racerback on and my girl boxers. more like briefs on me. hahaha. then, upon my parents arrival, we'll all be in the comfort of food and their arms, laughter, dad's random anger cum care(do not ask me to elaborate) and mum's nonchalance. i end the day by sleeping, almost 15 hours to sum up to all the other sleepless nights.

even though we have the privilege of having Suria on our Starhub cable channel, we seldom watch it now. of course, only on the occasion of anugerah, pesta perdana or hari raya shows. i am not in any sense channelling hate for the recent production of any malay channels. its just that, sometimes i wish the writers would be able to come out with show or film plots that is slightly a bit more open. wait, open is not the word. creative, shall be. obviously, we are islamic people, hence, it doesn't have to be sex, sex, sex. we're not americans. what i am pin-pointing to is, maybe they can come out with something like, a comedic family everyday show that can go for a hundred season? a family reality gameshow about malay history? or, even better, a malay love story that doesn't involve all the taboos of our religion's everyday life? i am in fear of being left by dearest yasmin ahmad. she was one of the best i have seen. gone too soon. al-fatiha. =(.

i miss her already.

if americans can do it, we can do it too. asia, is bigger than america. and americans, come to asia to learn about culture. so why the heck are we ending, culture education by modernisation? all of us, the distinct permanent races of Singapore; chinese, malays and indians should flutter our colorful wings and make it work together. but of course with limitations. let's all realize how beautiful our culture actually is. i beg you. please do not run out of ideas. i don't want to watch channel 8. and people from channel 8 wouldn't rant to watch anything from Suria, ya?

wait, speaking of game shows, when was the last time we had one? "don't forget the lyrics" is not counted. its copyrighted from america. pfft. if i remembered correctly, "the pyramid game" was the last singapore game show that i actually enjoyed. remember people, that something-david, indian host? but, what gameshow was benedict goh was from?

good god. that was long.

okto is my other alternative from channel 5. speaking about it, i was catching a local film with dad, titled, "invisible children" on it. and i must say, it is not that bad. in my opinions, the film has a lot of its own hidden meanings. different perspectives, i think. well, maybe to my own conscience. but i thought the film had,"singapore, not actually a happy country" and "subdued loneliness due to slaving to currency prosperity", written all over it. hmm.

after the film, i sat down quietly on my pc and typed out this long personal paragraph for everyone of my loved ones to enjoy. but, you know what i enjoy? i enjoy sitting down with just about anyone, flipping back to the hilarious, olden days, of mine and others of course,-- eg. pictures, home videos, old radio interviews, old magazine interviews, school pictures-- to just look at each other and say,"what the fuck were you thinking there?", "bloody hell, you look like someone name james, dude", "were you going for the wet look?", "for god's sake, look at you! you really stand out from the rest with those kuniang printed pants! " and at the end, i can hear nothing but mighty, hearty laughters. come on, we all have that cheesy days. trust me when i say this, trends is nothing but bullshit when you look back at your pictures. bloody hell. i should have known better back then. hahaha. it feels good to hear other people laugh too. not to you of course, but with you.

i am saying this because, earlier on, i was looking back at my parents wedding pictures and laughed my face out loud. later in the day, i went to check out my latest band hype, superjunior's, past music video clips. believe me, i heard myself saying, "i really really feel like slapping your face, hankyung, for looking like an ah beng rather than a grunge korean singer" and "fucking hell, choi siwon. do you have to be acting cute like that?". ahahaha. gosh, thank god! those times have passed. they're much more sexier now. woo hoo for my hormones and money for them!

finally, if i ever become famous for anything, i, nurshida binte osman, would want to hold a public, "free hug day" for just about anyone, be it my fan or not. it would make everyone's day.

till next time. =)