don't do it. don't make me flip my calendar and count the days that follows after last date that i wrote an entry on my blog.

truth to say, i had numerous things on my mind to share with the world. only, none of them were pleasant enough to be public. feels like small, green military men going to war in my heart.

well, well. June came and went. i worked and worked, in secret hope to learn more about visual merchandising with less anger and more patience. bf worries, worked and played music. my cat is still lazy. my best colleagues and manager are leaving me. parents are in good health. dad, particularly, appear to be financially stable; purchasing a new monitor and a pair of speakers with sub woofers for my computer, which is now, disowned to my youngest brother(you lucky bastard!). hey dad, how about a 50/50 on a new laptop for me on my birthday, maybe? =) well soon enough, hopefully, it will be me taking, driving and classical dance lessons. and someday, my a photo of my face on the last page of a hard cover book, with a not-usual, funky written, brief bio.

ladies and gentleman, i might have just lost my pride, my ego and my value. and, a couple of promises to myself.

Promise #1 : keep on working for my dreams no matter where i am, who i am with or the amount of time that i spend working.

Promise #2: whenever in a relationship, once you lose your own interest, you will have the fear of sooner or later the other party will lose interest in you. reason being, you are always with them 24/7. (that applies to me. i don't think i can take it if my bf was to hang out with me every single time because he sacrificed his time for our relationship. and he is doing what i am doing. because that means, i can't learn anything from him or look up to him. success and self-upgrade always keep the spice up in the relationship. then again, i am contradicting.)

Promise #3: keep your acquaintances. just in case. good friends on the other hand,will always be there for you. vice versa.

i think i might have let my sanity slipped too.

with that, my vow to let my dreams lay in front of my eyes before i am 25, goes on.

what matters right now is that, i find peace in.....




wits and laughter. hilarious as heck. in Singapore, not everyone has a friend like Barney. so i can only refer. i also might have a crush on Ted Mosby? =)

regardless, all your assumptions of negativity towards my relationship going bad, let me tell you it is to no avail. it is utter bullshit if i say it is smooth sailing. my boyfriend is. i, am certainly not. but together, we made perfect, embarrassed with meaningless.

it is only fair that i end this entry on a solemn note, dedicated to a gifted entertainer who has influenced me and us all, in not only one, but in so many other ways. more amazingly, with only words of truth and pure love. as i have said before, to all the good people that left before us, we are all as good as dead now, now that you're gone. no replacement. but i guessed, the given deadline for the amount of torture that you went through to still do good, was up. rest now. you invented, loved, laughed and entertained us all. forgive us, for we have leaned on you too much. we deserve it, if you have placed immense hope in us to carry your legacy till our time is up. as a torch, i hope all of us will take example and follow through with what you have build for us, broken race barriers and that anything is possible if we voice out, as one.

you will be missed, Michael Joseph Jackson. (1958-2009)

stranger? you got what you asked for. and yes, i cried hard during his memorial.

but, WHO ARE YOU?

more Ted Mosby for me. =)